Peace

About four weeks ago I was forced to go on a journey. A journey that is, four weeks later, still very much in it's beginning phases. It's challenging everything that I've ever believed in. And everyone that I've ever believed in. It's been a cluster fuck of emotions. I've never been so confused in my life. I've spent many nights crying. I've spent many days crying. I've slept maybe 4 days total. I'm exhausted. Physically. Emotionally. Exhausted. My eyes hurt. My stomache churns. I eat maybe the equivalent of one meal a day. I, at times find myself paralyzed with fear. I don't want to move or even think. My back hurts. My head aches. And my heart sinks inside my chest. And for four weeks all I've wanted was a little peace. Just a few small moments when the world seems to be standing still and nothing is moving any faster, or slower, than I want it to.