Tonight was the first night that I think I could have actually gone through with it. Laying there in the water, floating just under the surface, and everything going still and quiet. The idea was so completely comforting. Life just felt like it would stand still for a moment, an eternity, and there would be time for me catch up.
Obviously, I'm writing about it now so I didn't go through with it. But I've never been that close before. I've thought about it, but never in a way that I would go through with it. Tonight was different. Something in me was different.
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