Today was the first time I think I've ever actually missed my new home. I was very ready to be home after this weekend, in my own bed and familiar with my surroundings. I guess that means that I'm starting to really think of this place as a safe haven, and I guess that is a good thing.
I'm really hoping for a better week this week. Last week sent me on a tailspin. Possible new job (in a new city), divorce papers, finding e's flash drive with all his lyrics, songs, our vows, etc... a weekend away with new friends and people I didn't know. Being on the float trip was the first time I found myself actually missing e. Up until now I didn't miss him. I've been so mad at him that missing him wasn't an option. But being in an environment, full of people in relationships, hooking up, etc... I missed him. Driving home today, I missed him. Sitting here right now writing, I miss him. I don't want to miss him. I don't want anything from him. Today's my mom's birthday and all I did was sit at the kitchen table and cry.
I did have a nice conversation with rf tonight. It would be nice to have his friendship back. I hope that we can continue talking.
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