old friends.

Hung out with an old friend tonight. We've been friends since we were six or seven. We couldn't be more different, but somehow we've managed to stay great friends. She's one of those people where we can always just pick up where we left off. She's one of the few people that I feel the most comfortable to be myself with. I think we've just always respected each other for who we are, and those kind of friends are priceless.

home.

Today was the first time I think I've ever actually missed my new home. I was very ready to be home after this weekend, in my own bed and familiar with my surroundings. I guess that means that I'm starting to really think of this place as a safe haven, and I guess that is a good thing.

I'm really hoping for a better week this week. Last week sent me on a tailspin. Possible new job (in a new city), divorce papers, finding e's flash drive with all his lyrics, songs, our vows, etc... a weekend away with new friends and people I didn't know. Being on the float trip was the first time I found myself actually missing e. Up until now I didn't miss him. I've been so mad at him that missing him wasn't an option. But being in an environment, full of people in relationships, hooking up, etc... I missed him. Driving home today, I missed him. Sitting here right now writing, I miss him. I don't want to miss him. I don't want anything from him. Today's my mom's birthday and all I did was sit at the kitchen table and cry.

I did have a nice conversation with rf tonight. It would be nice to have his friendship back. I hope that we can continue talking.

long time.

"It's been a long time" came on over the speaker at work tonight. Fucking Bastards.

Just when you think things are safe. BAM.