redefining.

The other day, while talking to a friend, I asked her opinion on defining moments and she said:

"I believe that other people define you, and you have your own definition of who you are on top of that. And everyday you are defining yourself and who you are based on the decisions that you make in that day. And during a period of change you redefine yourself over and over until that defining moment where change occurs." (or something like that)

The part that stuck with me so much was the "other people define you." I hadn't thought about that, but I believe that to be true. By what you put out into the world people have an opinion of who you are. And over time, whether you want to or not, their opinion can weigh more than your own sometimes. And then over even more time you start to believe that their definition of you is the true definition, even if you don't feel like that is the true definition of you. And suddenly you are defined by someone else, everyone else, and you have no true definition of yourself.

Now my question is, when that happens, when you have allowed other people to define who you are, is it possible to redefine yourself? Especially amongst those people who already have their mind made up of who you are. Can you redefine yourself in their eyes, to be the true definition of who you believe you are? Can you redefine a relationship, with a friend? a lover? a family member?

Or do you have to cut yourself off and start over fresh, with new relationships? Do you have to lose everything in order to redefine your life?